An Intoxicating Insanity.

I haven’t written in a while about where I am in life, and what’s going on with me…So I figured I would while I had the time. I’m slowly getting myself back together, after letting myself go completely. I’m working out again, starting to eat right, and trying to control my attitude and words. After making a few not so great (and some extremely wonderful) mistakes, I’ve decided to start respecting myself a little more because my family, my God, and I deserve respect. 

He’s helping me get forget you a little more every day, but I keep holding on because I don’t want to forget you. I want you in my life, but I need to come to terms with the fact that you obviously don’t want to be there. If you wanted me, you’d let me know, or even talk to me period. He’s great, and sweet…but with him there comes conflict with my family and friends. And I haven’t figured out yet if he’s worth the fight, because being with him could be a life changing thing, given the circumstances. 

I’m stuck in a rut. A rut of apathy, numbness, lethargy, and indifference. I need to start caring…about the people around me, my future, my present, my school, my job..I just need to feel something, instead of not caring about anything.